In short
Shang tou (上头), the hair-combing ceremony, is held the night before a Chinese wedding, separately at the homes of the bride and groom. Roots describes each partner facing a pair of lighted candles while a woman considered to have good fortune combs the hair four times, repeating an auspicious phrase each time, to symbolise the couple’s transition into adulthood.
- It takes place the night before the wedding, at each partner’s home, not on the wedding day itself.
- Roots describes the woman who combs the hair as someone whose husband, children and grandchildren are alive.
- The National Library Board’s Infopedia adds that the parents of the bride and groom, or an elderly or respected female relative, may perform it, and that other dialect groups in Singapore also practise what has traditionally been a Cantonese custom.
- The sources reviewed for this guide do not give the words of the auspicious phrases, so ask the person conducting the ceremony.
- Chinese Peranakan families have their own documented coming-of-age ceremony, chiu thau, which our Peranakan guide covers separately.
- Because it happens the night before, at two homes, plan ahead if you would like it photographed.
What the ceremony involves
The National Heritage Board’s Roots portal describes shang tou as part of the night before the wedding, taking place in the respective homes of the groom and the bride. Each faces a pair of lighted candles while a woman considered to have good fortune combs the hair four times and repeats an auspicious phrase each time. Roots describes the ritual as symbolising the couple’s transition into adulthood.
The National Library Board’s Infopedia describes shang tou as something some couples carry out, held separately during an auspicious hour at the bride’s and groom’s homes to symbolise their attainment of maturity, with auspicious words uttered and blessings pronounced with each brush of the hair. It records the belief that the ritual ensures an everlasting marriage and many children for the couple, and that afterwards the bride and groom eat a bowl of glutinous rice balls, which symbolise togetherness in their relationship.
Infopedia also notes that on the night before the wedding, some families pray to the God of Heaven (Tian Gong) and to their ancestors to seek protection and blessings. Our guide to Chinese weddings in Singapore places shang tou within the fuller run of customs, from guo da li to yum seng.
Who performs the ceremony
In the accounts given by Roots and Infopedia, another person combs each partner’s hair. Roots describes the person who does so as a woman considered to have good fortune, someone whose husband, children and grandchildren are alive. Infopedia says the ceremony may be performed by the parents of the bride and groom, or by an elderly or respected female relative, one who is happily married and has many children and grandchildren.
Infopedia notes that shang tou has traditionally been a Cantonese custom, and that other dialect groups in Singapore also practise it. Because families differ, ask your parents early whom they have in mind, and whether they plan to hold the ceremony at all. Our guide to Chinese wedding taboos covers other customs where heritage sources name who takes part.
Shang tou and the Peranakan chiu thau
Chinese Peranakan families have their own documented coming-of-age ceremony, chiu thau. Our guide to Peranakan weddings in Singapore covers what museum records say about it: a Peranakan Museum record of chiu thau trousers from Penang places the ceremony on the first day of a twelve-day wedding, before a sam kai altar at the bride’s and groom’s homes, and another record describes white garments worn at its start.
This guide follows Roots’ and Infopedia’s accounts of Chinese weddings in Singapore rather than those Peranakan records. If your family has Peranakan heritage, ask which ceremony, if either, your family observes, and how.
Planning the evening
Because shang tou happens the night before the wedding, at two separate homes, plan it as its own small event rather than part of your wedding day timeline. Infopedia describes it as held during an auspicious hour, so confirm with each family when it is expected to start, and leave time for rest before the next morning’s preparations.
Other pre-wedding customs may fall in the same week: Roots places the an chuang bed-setting ceremony three days to one week before the wedding. Ask each family where in the home the ceremony will take place, who is expected to be present, and whether a photographer may be in the room at all.
Photographing the ceremony
If the ceremony takes place in a small room lit mainly by the candles, your photographer will have little working light and little space, so discuss it with whoever is covering your wedding well before the night itself. Ask whether extra light may be used without overwhelming the candlelight, and confirm with your family whether flash is acceptable during the ceremony.
Shang tou falls the night before a morning that may include the gatecrash and the tea ceremony, so consider booking it as a separate short session rather than an extension of your actual-day coverage. If other pre-wedding customs, such as guo da li, also matter to your family, plan them together with your photographer.
How closely your family follows these details is worth confirming with them directly. If you would like shang tou planned alongside your wider coverage, check your date with us, or read more about our wedding photography.